Member-only story
Murdering My Inner People-Pleaser
Do I feel guilty about it? Yes, of course I do.
Living life as a chronic people-pleaser feels a lot like walking on a tight rope.
Have you ever played around on a slack line? They’re even harder than they look. There was one at my local rock climbing gym for a while when I was in college and used to boulder between classes.
I would hop on that slack line and try to center my balance over it, my legs swaying, feet betraying me. Every step I took felt like conquering the impossible. It was weirdly addicting even though I was terrible at it.
I just kept jumping back on after I fell. Maybe this time I could get one more step further.
When you’re trying to please everyone, you’re going to fail. You try and try to balance that line under your feet until you slip. Then you’ve failed whoever you’re trying to please, and they’re angry at you. You don’t like it when people are upset with you, so you jump right back on and try again.
Over and over and over again. But you’ll fall every time.
The worst part is the delusion — you think you’re so great for making everyone happy. There’s a high you get when you can balance on that slack line. You feel calm and cool…
