How I Make $3,257.69 Every F*cking Day

Fulfill your wildest income fantasies with these foolproof hacks from some random person on Medium.

I never thought I could make this much f*cking money. But now I do, probably, and I want you to believe that you can too. So I’m writing this to let you in on my secrets, because I absolutely do want to let everyone else in on a chunk of my personal income streams.

Nearly everyone struggles with needing or wanting to make more money than their 9–5 provides. I know that if I tap into this widespread financial insecurity, you will more than likely click my bait.

So let’s dive right in, shall we?

It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy. I want you to think about this as you read.

— Anonymous

Just Sell Stock Photos Already

I assume you have an expensive camera, equipment, and ample experience taking halfway-decent photos of things that people are writing about. Go ahead and use those readily available resources and your innate technological abilities to whip out photos worth hundreds of dollars to stock photo websites. Easy!

It’s not as if people invest thousands of dollars into equipment, college coursework, experience, and build their brand as a professional photographer. You can easily break in as a beginner. Life? Hacked.

Have You Tried Online Surveys Yet

They are readily available, totally not trying to steal your personal data, and pay less than minimum wage because you can’t time-cheat your way through them. But you can do it on your computer from home, which makes this a more legitimate source of income than a real job.

Honestly, what are you even waiting for? Go spend 25 minutes answering questions about cat litter for 75 cents, even though I’m going to tell you I make $50 per survey.

Monetize Your Blog Right Now

I assume you already have a blog through WordPress or something that gets you hundreds of clicks per month. Why wouldn’t you? If you don’t, go set one up about anything you want, because expertise isn’t necessary and experience is never required!

When your blog is rolling, go ahead and slap some ads on that sucker. Before you know it, you’ll have a passive income stream of pennies per month thanks to your wide audience and excellent Google search results.

Use This New App

It doesn’t matter what it’s for — deliveries, driving passengers, tasks, selling clothes— you’re going to make a sh*t ton of money in exchange for all your free time and energy, which I assume you have in abundance. Why else are you looking at passive income streams? This is definitely passive income, don’t even sweat it.

Market Crap As an Affiliate

You probably use social media. If you have any followers, they’re going to waste. You could be influencing them into buying stuff they don’t need and using your very own discount code to earn a percentage of what they purchase.

Why are you even wasting your time waiting to start doing this? Go bother a brand into partnering with you and get started on your sponsored content. I assume you know how to take selfies. Put that skill to use!

1-on-1 Coaching is Hot AF

You don’t need authority or expertise, just the ability to write good marketing emails that remind people you’re almost out of spots for your limited-time coaching biz offer. You can coach people on coaching for all I care. Just get out there and amaze your clients!

There you have it.

Side hustles and passive income streams are easy, take no time up front, but are also the hardest thing ever and only the most talented will ever make it. But that describes you, or else you wouldn’t be reading this!

I am not going to provide any kind of proof of my own income but suffice to say I make $3,257.69 every day without even breaking a sweat, just like those hot girls exercising in the cover photo. No sweat.

Now let’s get to work.

Believe you can accomplish anything some random Medium user tells you, and you can fulfill your wildest income fantasies.

This is where I plug my substack and you pay me to coach you, obviously.

Nonfiction writer wrangling words and horses in the Pacific Northwest | she/they

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